The Love We Breathe by Adelia Everett

Author:Adelia Everett [Everett, Adelia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Adelia Everett
Published: 2017-10-11T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

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A few days later, Ryan and I went out to get coffee after class. The two of us sat at a table inside the campus coffee shop. It was pouring rain outside and it was nice to be in the heated building. We watched the rain through the window next to our table. The sky was completely covered in dark gray clouds and Ryan and I laughed as we watched students without umbrellas running outside.

“So how’ve you been?” Ryan asked, “I feel like we haven’t hung out that much the last couple of days.”

I knew what he meant. We’d been so busy with classes and homework that we hadn’t really talked much lately. The second semester had just stared and we were still getting used to our new schedules.

“I’ve been...well, you know.” I responded.

Ryan nodded in understanding.

Truthfully, I hadn’t been completely happy the last couple of days. Discovering my sexuality hadn’t been a fun process, and I was mentally exhausted from all the thinking it took. And on top of that, my stomach was constantly churning at the thought of coming out. I had to do it eventually, and probably soon.

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked in a low voice, even though we were the only ones in the coffee shop.

I nodded and sighed, even though I wasn’t entirely okay. I didn’t want him to worry. “Just a bit scared.” I said.

“That’s normal.” He assured me. He reached under the table and grabbed my hand. He let our fingers intertwine. I smiled.

The best part about the aftermath of my realization was having Ryan. Of course, not long after our love making the other day, I completely broke down as everything sunk into my heart. Now I completely understood my sexuality, not just mentally but spiritually and emotionally. But it was nice to have Ryan there to hold my hand and remind me that everything was okay.

The last few days, all I could think about were the consequences of being gay. Everyone would have to find out eventually. It was agonizing to think about. But it felt good to know that the person across from me went through the exact same thing.

“You’re just afraid of telling people?” Ryan asked.

I nodded again. “Especially my parents...” I shivered at the thought. Ever since Thanksgiving break when my parents had made those awful homophobic comments about Ryan, I’d been a little annoyed with them. And now that I knew I was gay, I was almost afraid of them.

“Trust me, I know what you mean.” Ryan said, rolling his eyes.

“I wish your parents were more understanding.” I said, squeezing his hand, “Cause I don’t think mine are going to be.”

“What makes you say that?” He asked.

I didn’t realize until now that I’d never really told Ryan about my parents homophobic comments. But now, I wanted to tell him. It would help him better understand my fears.

“Well...” I sighed, “Over Thanksgiving break I was telling them about you, cause obviously they wanted to know about my new roommate.

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